I have been staring at my blog entries - my past experiences that have moulded me thus far. I have been typing a string of sentences on a blank post and subsequently "backspacing". If there is one word to describe how I feel right now, it would be ambivalent. Except, instead of being torn between two decisions, I feel myself being pulled in a million different directions.
These few months - in fact - this whole year has been overwhelming. So overwhelming that every time I sit myself down to attempt to write about it, fear gets the better of me. Fear of not doing justice to every BEAUTIFUL lesson I have learnt. Fear of not pouring my heart and soul in sharing with you how much love and joy I have found in the people I have met. Fear of not painting as perfect a picture of how God has crafted my year. Sigh. Fear of admitting that God has proven me wrong again because this year is coming extremely close to beating 2011. (Yes, I ask myself time and time again: How is that even possible?!) See what I have to deal with?
Ah. Well. I am evidently at crossroads; it's like everything that I have known myself to be and everything new I have absorbed from this astounding year are just blinking viciously at me. I guess this is just me putting myself out there and telling you that I am in the process of garnering enough courage in me to tell you another one of my stories. But first, allow me to try and...figure things out; figure myself out. Because things. are. overwhelming. (If it is any consolation, all of it is positive energy. And I find myself thanking God for every blessing-big or small alike)
So, with fingers crossed and whispers of prayers under my breath, I shall return very soon. But for now, I shall leave you with a thought.
The other day I was walking to college with my earphones on. You know those moments when you seem like you're looking at something but actually you're a million light years away, in your own bubble of thought? Yea, that was me. And I was just thinking. Thinking about how many people around me did I know. How many of them who were utter strangers to me, would one day be someone important to me: a friend, a lab partner, a good confidant.
How was it that the same person I may have brushed shoulders with a year ago, may be the same person I stay up talking to till the wee hours of the morning in another life, another season, 6 months from our first encounter?
It astounds me and I continue to find myself dumbfounded by these two words: Stranger and Friend. How does it happen? Is it just by mere conversation? Common interest? Accidental confrontation? Why didn't we see it coming?
There are many more things I can't wait to share. This is just one of them.
There are many more things I can't wait to share. This is just one of them.
Oh, God, you work in wondrous ways. Wondrous, indeed. (:
