It's been two years since high school and I feel that so much has happened. So much has changed. I have grown so much as with the people around me. Sometimes, when I think about what I have done with the 19 years I have been given and the astounding lessons the people have graced me with just by their presence, I feel unworthy. Sometimes, I ask the big guy what did I do to be able to receive and give so much love. Here's to YOU for believing in me when I didn't even believe in myself. Now, it's my turn to return the favour.
I learnt that it's not a matter of what you've done, where you've gone or what has happened to you but it is how you choose to perceive and act upon the circumstances-blessing or curse-that are thrust upon you. Because at the end of the day, it is ultimately up to you to decide if TODAY is going to be the best or worst day of your life.
There were definitely days I did not feel this positive. Especially last semester (because I definitely felt like dying-no exaggeration needed). But, I don't know, I guess, I feel like things may just be looking up especially if I choose to see it that way. University offers are rolling in and I am officially the most nerve-stricken and anxious student in the world. That is how scared out of my pants I am to know how this new semester will turn out. It does not help if you have a heightened fear of letting people down. Two heavy course works in a short term has me debating if my life would be more of the Survivor reality show or will I just be spared and anticipate a hole in my bedroom wall (no, not because I punched it but because I dug the concrete with my bare hands-I'm still trying to figure out if I meant it as a joke).
Ah, anticipated scary emotions aside, I can't believe I'm saying this but I. Am. Excited! ...Crazy, right?
*cue narrative voice*
So, let us see how long this crazy human being can handle pushing herself way out of her comfort zone, realise she has fallen off the cliff but climb back up because
1. there is something wrong with her head
2. she can't live without the adrenaline no matter how vigorously the danger signs blink her way, and
3. she doesn't seem to think 1 and 2 are bad things
Don't tell anyone, but I think she has a secret weapon.
And that secret weapon is
God.
