Offbeat.

This is a bit out of my usual self.  I usually take a long time to think about what I am about to write but this came out of the blue and it is a mixture of feelings while listening to a song that struck me quite deeply and after a visit to my high school after almost three years.

I wanna go where the lights are low and the dreamers are chasing,
I wanna live like we don't know much but we know we're gonna make it,
I don't wanna spend another night alone,
I wanna go cause if we don't leave now, then we're never gonna make it home.

.

This next one is a very raw version of something I wrote today.  Usually, I reread it over and over again, let it sit for a couple of hours (days sometimes) and think about how to improve or change it but this time, it was a bit different and it does bug me to actually put this out when it feels very...raw and unedited to perfection but I just feel like I want it to be that way.  It does not have a title.  

So, here it is:

The soiled cement floors of greyish-brown,

The smiles of top student posters, I frown.

The slow chatter of teachers echo

In the austere hall, the mem’ries bellow

but the earthly wall is bricked and piped,

The stage repainted and floor retiled.

These sights and sounds I hear alone

as I make my uneventful way back home.

Foreign faces – fleeting but strong,

Yet the strange familiar coaxes me

For a talk just like old times, I grin.

Topics unchanged but different tunes we sing

Of songs with varied choruses

Just these two years can bring:

Heart ache, triumph, death and gumption,

Failures, surprises, lessons and bull

That have shaped, ultimately, how we function.

This is not a story of nostalgia

Nor is it too much an ode to mentors.

Not intended for bitter complacency

Or bold proclamation – I’ve found myself!

But this is just me being as genuine as can be:

Travelling, the world overwhelms the climber

with what-ifs, why-nots, and how-comes,

Stumbling, I still flounder with it all

but I learn that it’s okay to fall,

Returning, I see how much I’ve changed

and how much has stayed the same.

And instead of trying to find the answer,

No matter how green the other side seems

Or how much I still don’t understand,

I am exactly where I am supposed to be,

In this place, at this time,

Travelling, stumbling, free-falling,

 to learn a little bit more of how to be:

me.

.

And to end this rather random post, this is another song that has also struck me quite deeply and I feel there is a lot of things that reflects my thoughts in this song.

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
...
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be 

brave.