I started out the year with my second semester which was crazily chaotic that I thought I would perish in the process. I didn't realise that all of it was just peanuts to what the third semester had in store. Basically, this year turned my life upside down, shook it vigorously out of its senses and then did another unsuspecting turn before returning to the right side up.
People say that A-Levels is a strenuous course, one that should not be toyed with. They say that you'd be lucky to survive. I beg to differ.
I say taking the humanities AND the sciences in A-Levels while juggling responsibilities for the A-Voice editorial board and producing the HELP's annual production is literally asking for trouble. I guess you can call me crazy for jumping when everyone says you'll never make it...but I do it anyway because of the genuine passion, fire and love burning in me. Ever felt so compelled to execute something because you can't picture yourself doing anything else? Exactly how I feel.
While I join my Math buddies in calculating the time taken for the ball to reach its greatest height, I find myself also trying to skim through a 40-page article in 15 minutes to find points I can use for my History presentation. Below this assignment, you will find yellow flashcards strewn over my desk with a picture of the synaptic cleft and little dots that we term as neurotransmitters. All of which needs to be looked at for the "pre"-mock the next day. As much as this combination excites me, this year has definitely taught me that doing something out of the ordinary, requires an out-of-the-ordinary work ethic. I learnt not to scream "Injustice!" when people complain about the Biology practice questions to be done when I have a presentation on Classical Poetry in addition to that due the same day.
I have learnt so much from all of this. Biology has gotten me thinking endlessly about how habituated and desensitised the human race has become. The trips to the lab entailed my first full-fledged drink of black coffee (I found nothing appealing about it though) and ignited my envy of snails-beings capable of shutting the world out by disappearing into their shells. But more so, Literature and History has gone so perfectly together in exploring every facet of war; be it physical, psychological, emotional, financial or economical. It shifts the way we look at things-as dire as war may be, Hosseini's The Kite Runner surprised me with an overriding message of hope which I did not expect. Made me realise that perhaps there always is a silver lining in the cloud. It's a just a matter of whether we see it or not.
This year, in terms of mere academics, was tough. It was as if God designed the most difficult terrain for me to scale, as if asking me to live up to what I say I believe in. To prove that I am not a joke. To not just preach my love and belief of embracing humanities and sciences as equals, but actually live by example. And in truth, that is exactly what I did. No, I did not sail through smooth waters boasting about how wonderful the arts were and how horrible the sciences were. NO. I actually poured out my everything to every class I went to and failed many times. I gained many bruises and blisters but treated it as a novelty. There were many times I questioned myself and became frustrated for thinking I could do it, and there were times I thought I actually made a wrong decision in opting for the road not taken. It has been a battle of the mind which will continue to be fought, but one which I strive to pursue because of the adversity many of my friends and I felt was worth overcoming.
I guess this academic year questioned the importance I held for my studies. I found myself backtracking to all the things I said about family and friends and my passions being things of equal importance. And then realised how ridiculously hard it was to divide my time as well as handle the inevitable comments of onlookers and friends alike. But I did it. Maybe with several broken oars on my boat and more drifts off-course than expected, but I did it. I proved to myself that I could indeed embrace and value my family, friends, passions and my studies individually with care. I am so far from being a master at this. I don't even know if I can call myself a novice. But what I can proudly say is that I have learnt so much about how hard it is to stay true to what you believe in when you realise even the whole system is not in your favour. But the whole idea of it is to keep on going. No matter what.
And that, is what matters.
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