My Whisper

Sometimes, when you spend too long a time in a certain place or with a certain person, you tend to form pristine conclusions on what the place can hold or who the person is cut out to be but sometimes, I feel it is not the case.  And I guess so far, I have done a pretty okay job in keeping the positivity in my writing.  Because I wanted to and because it was what I was feeling at the present time.  But it does not mean that happiness is the only feeling I hold.

And sometimes, I guess it is frustrating to find the world frowning on you for having "bad" feelings, acting "inappropriately" and making a "mistake".  We have been so attuned to this that we automatically shake our heads when we see people losing their cool or control over a situation and assume it to be their fault or their '"flaw".  It just frustrates me that we isolate moments like these as moments that define that entire person.  It frustrates me that sometimes the only person that can understand what you are going through entirely is yourself and how terrible humanity's empathy can be at times when people need it the most.

I get frustrated at the times when people have a fixed picture in their head and whenever something comes along that doesn't match everything that they have learnt or have been fed with, they condemn it and roll it around their tongue towards an angle that is favourable to them just because they are too insensitive to care.

And sometimes, it is off-putting to find people who read this and jump to a hasty conclusion that I am angry. And fail to take one more step to understand why I am feeling this way and whether my thoughts and opinions even make any sense.  Or have their menacing labels of "angry", "emo", and "bad" cloud their vocabulary so early on that they are blinded no matter what I say here?

Truth is, I don't think people should ever be defined as a singular entity their entire lives that we seem like gods-people who are not able to fall down, to be angry, to be sad and to think anything but happy thoughts. It is not a trait we are relatively proud of. But it is a trait that exists in this world.  And it is a part of us.  It is a part of me.  Failure to acknowledge this is ignorance.  Until people start realising that one can never really just cut out portions of their selves, feelings and essentially who they are, and tailor them to become who people or society define as good.  The only thing we are capable of doing is to acknowledge our flaws and keep on improving.  To have the willingness to betterment but nowhere do we acknowledge that perfection is the only synonym to success.  It is that gumption to keep on striving for it is what matters.

So, this is me stripped down from all the care of what people may think of me.  Because composure has its goodness but I believe it takes so much more courage to be able to step up the podium and just let people know who I am.  What I believe in.  And what my principles are.  Despite of so many voices telling me what the whispers behind my back and two-faced glances may entail. Because true courage does not care for the unnecessary. 

I am a person who finds joy in the little things but it doesn't mean that I cannot be angered by the stubbornness of humanity (including myself). And this is me.  Take it...or just close your eyes and just keep on walking in a different direction...before I can't fight the urge of asking you what your thoughts are.  Because I am the most terrified person you'll meet in anticipating what people think of me because I just cannot be one of those people who couldn't care less.  But I am learning.  From everything.  

Just wanted to say that.  Thank you if you are listening.

"Courage is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart." - Brene Brown